New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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