i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
