this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
