This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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