I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
