i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
