the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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