idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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