Screwed.edu
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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