it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
BRING THE BAGELS
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
