no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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