I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
