glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
