No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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