You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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