tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
