I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
