wakey wakey hands off snakey
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He better not be in your backpack
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
