I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
