it hurts more in the daytime
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We had to coat check the pizza.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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