it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
