YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
