i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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