Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
