Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
