Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
