Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
