Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
