porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
