My brain says no but my pants say off.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
