Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
