three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
