GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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