I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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