Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
