She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
