I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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