arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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