all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
