And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
