This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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