just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
