Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
