I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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