If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
