it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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