Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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