um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
