is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
