So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
