My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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