im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
